The Key to Compliance: Being Tough While Building Trust
You want your child to listen to you and do what you say. But how do you change behavior when a teen won’t listen, a child calls you a b****, and a kid gets in trouble in class? How can you declare martial law and be tough while building trust? Kirk shares tons of strategies and insights to calm kids and get compliance.
5 Lessons from the new Podcast:
It’s a really good one so make the time to listen to it. We hit on so many great ideas and situations.
(1) Relationships change behavior. Consequences don’t.
(2) If you want compliance, you must connect first.
(3) A contract between a child and father who don’t have a trusting relationship will devolve into endless battles, forcing mom to continue to be the referee and manage everyone’s emotions. That is debilitating.
(4) When your child is blatantly disrespectful, like calling you a b****, you must draw the line and declare martial law (i.e. this is a line you never, ever cross in our home) while at the same time determining what’s really gnawing at the child.
(5) Stop taking things personally and misinterpreting everything as disrespect. Learn how to release your child from your false expectations.
FINAL HUGE POINT:
I want to reinforce a huge truth from this week’s podcast. Trying to impose rules and change behavior from the outside almost never works and almost always destroys relationships. Is that where you are now?
If you really want to change your child’s attitude, heart, mouth, motivation, and work ethic, change your relationship with your child first.